Is this all normal?

Greetings empty page. You may not know this, but next to my wife, you will become my new best friend. I plan to use to vent, rant, worry, laugh, cry, and any other one of the million emotions and feelings I seem to have flowing through me. Today, it just so happens to be worry.

I made the gargantuan mistake of watching a show on TLC this morning called "Obese & Expecting."
Worst idea ever.
But I was already crying from my first time of discovering the show "A Baby Story" and I was all woo-wooey and giddy about the prospect of us having our very own bundle of joy. So, back to "Obese & Expecting"...First of all, one of these women weighed less that I do when she first became pregnant. Our RE doctor told me it would be best to get down to 200lbs before trying to get pregnant. Almost a year went by, and I still remained at 240lbs, so we moved forward given the age clock was getting louder. One of the women on the show could not do anything by herself. She couldn't shower, dress, drive, ANYTHING because she was so swollen from retaining water. One of the gals had diabetes and was concerned that the baby was going to be insulin dependent. To top it off several of the women had to have c-sections due to their weight, and it was not pretty. The doctors were very clear that the depth of the fat tissue they had to cut through on obese was women was very high risk and dangerous for the mother as well as the baby. So, as I watched the entire 60 minute program, my mouth gaped open and horrible thoughts began running though my head. Am I even going to be able to get pregnant? Will I have miscarriages like my mom? Are we going to go into so much debt simply TTC? What if the baby has health problems? What if we have multiples?!?

I certainly hope all of this worry and doubt is typical because we have only just begun. We just started round #2, and from many of the other blogs I've read it often takes people a year or more before conceiving. For now, for tonight, I will roll over, kiss my wife, and try to put the worry out of my mind and my faith...I'll put my faith in the process.

Yep, I would say that's pretty accurate today.